Surfing and happiness

A big part of my life since quiting my job has been surfing. I started surfing about 5 years ago and absolutely love it. I might not be able to get rich from it, but surfing is something that I can do to turn down the noise of anything wrong in my life.

I wax my board and change into my wetsuit. The sand is hot under my feet and the sun warms my face. Just as I began to sweat in my wetsuit, I set toes in the cool 65 degree water. The tide is low and I can walk out to the waves. Families holler and laugh in the waves south of me. Tourists watch from the pier above me. Fellow surfers bob and watch the horizon for the next wave. I get out to the line up and dunk my head in the water – my hair wet, my face refreshed – I hop on my board and sit to wait for the next wave. I take in the cool breeze. I run my hands back and forth across the water. I smell the sea and the freshly applied wax on my board. Birds fly freely above me. The water, staying true to itself, rises and falls as my breath slowly syncs up.

When I surf I am completely immersed in my surroundings. All I feel is the physical and all the cobwebs in my head phase out as a smile forms on my face and my body balances. Just me and the ocean. Just little me and the big beautiful blue shimmering ocean. I am calm and I am happy – not thinking about the fight with my boyfriend, my future career move, traffic, or whether I’ll be able to find a parking spot when I get home… just me exercising patience as the waves begin to build.

I see a wave form and I turn to begin paddling. It’s about 4 feet away from  me and starting to curl. I paddle paddle paddle, digging deep and looking to see which way the wave is curving. It picks me up. I smile and breath in the force. I paddle two more times and press up, jumping to my feet. The board catches on the wave and soon I am soaring above the waves and flying. It feels like a good 40 miles per hour on the Ocean Express. The white wash breaks around me and I jump off my board, sinking into the cool water, it’s refreshing against my body, heated with adrenaline and exhilaration.

What fight? What traffic?  What career? What worry?

I stay for 3 hours. Catching waves and sitting to watch the sunset. Everyone around me is happy. I am happy. I am exhausted – worn to the bone but still going, still flying, still smiling. If I did one thing right in my life – it was to discover the joy of surfing. No matter what, I will always have the waves and my board.  I will always be happy.

When it rains, it pours

In addition to quiting my job, life has given me a few rotten lemons – I couldn’t make lemonade if my life depended on it! I found out that someone had stolen my identity, the issue caused me to be late on certain bill payments tied to my accout, I got 3 parking tickets from street cleaning near my home, someone tried to steal from my car and destroyed it in the process, then someone crashed into my car while it was parked, not to mention that I almost failed my night classes and was running into fights with a ton of friends and family members.

It really sucks. I’ll start there. And if anyone you know if having a rough time, please just tell them, “I’m sorry that happened to you” and then listen. Don’t offer advice unless solicited!

That said, everything is fixable and heals with time. That is what I tell myself during these kinds of periods and I also adopt a yoga routine, try to surf, buy self-help books, pick up a favorite TV show, knit, and so on. Anything and everything to distract me from the issue.

How to get through it? Well, everyone copes differently. Me, I did and am doing a few of the following:

• I’m getting a lot of support from the self-help book The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart. It jives with my goal of getting through this and also retaining my spirituality and sense of peace. It also provides more indepth thoughts on how to get through things. I will give all her tips a try but below are just a few things I’ve noticed so far on my own.
• Distraction is good, like using some of my above methods, but be careful not to neglect your duties. Although stressful, make a list of all the shit you have you to do and think of it as a game to cross items off. Another word of caution – don’t let the list consume you, there will always be stuff to do – accept it. Priority-based timelines will help to keep your stress levels low, and also noting a difference between what you NEED to do and what you WANT to do.
• Cry and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling – that way you won’t become a rebot when everything is said and done.
• Be humble. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, take a job at a lower pay or title, apolgoize or admit your wrong.
• Do something violent (but legal) – run really fast, take a boxing lesson, go to a shooting range, play a game of paintball, learn archery – or just get out there and be physical. I mention the violence because soemtimes you are going to be angry. Admit it. Accept it. And know that it’s healthy to get that out of your system – you’ll be surprised how calm you are because even in violent sports you need to be calm, breathe, take aim and trust yourself and someone else.
• Enjoy your friends and family. Yes, they will listen and help you through a rough time. But try to enjoy your time with time with them – go to the beach, share a drink, watch a movie, have some ice cream, take a pottery or painting class, have a conversation about everything accept what’s bugging you, etc.
• Do something out of this world. I asked my friend to give me a tarot reading. We had a lot of fun and I think that helped me give some other-worldly justification to my decisions and future. Other options would include going to a church, talking to your spiritually oriented friend, going to a yoga class or meditation class, jump in a float tank, whatever goes! Just get out there and connect yourself to the beyond — and if you’re an athetist, then go enjoy something beautiful! A musuem, the zoo, a nature hike – anything.
• No matter how small – try to do something you’ve always wanted to do! Most recently, I bought a pair of color contacts. I always wanted green eyes and so I did it! It was hysterical to watch my buddy teaching me how to put them in – we laughed the whole time and after I got em in I had fufilled a tiny goal I carried with me for years! (Other goals? Trying a new food, bungee jumping, making new friends, going on a date, traveling, go on a hike, or teach youself something new.) The point being that you can regain your confidence in your strength and ability to set goals and achieve them.
•  Don’t watch the news for awhile– it make me a less informed citizen in the short-term, but the news only compounds your stress and fear about current affairs, politics, and the future. In a stormy phase, just skip the external dramas.
• Indulge in your bad habits and dirty secrets for a little while – buy the trashy celebrty magazine, watch your favorite corny show, take your shower tomorrow,  play hours of mafia wars, giggle when people trip and tease others, yell, scream, honk your horn! Just do what you want to do for a little while – you’ll feel like a bad ass.

Anyway, I will talk more about the above ideas and my experiences – please submit additional ideas as a comment!

Thank you.